Reasons I’m Thinking Of Becoming A Rapper


I feel like doing something different today, so for the day, I’ve decided to dedicate my Twitter stream to a theme: Reasons I’m Thinking Of Becoming A Rapper.

If you’re on Twitter, add me to stay tuned to the updates.

If you’re not on Twitter – well, there’s no reason you shouldn’t be – so just join & then add me (or you can simply view my page for the updates).

I’ll update this post at the end of the day with the entire compilation of Reasons I’m Thinking Of Becoming A Rapper (no, I’m not serious and yes, it’s meant as a playful meme).


Below is the compiled list that I posted throughout the day on Twitter:

  1. So I can date Mya (that’s her only pre-req right?).
  2. So I’m allowed to drive motor vehicles while intoxicated. Yung Berg told me it was legal if I’m an artist.
  3. So I can talk like E-40 for a day and nobody would sue my childhood schoolboard.
  4. So I can make money while rehearsing for a spelling bee. (d-a-m-n-f-a-b-o-l-o-u-s-a-n-d-b-o-o-s-i-e).
  5. Groupies.
  6. So I can make 1 semi-hit & stay relevant for years thanks to roundabout mixtapes, street DVDs & WorldStarHipHop.
  7. So I can get a deal, sign all my bwoys so they can move out of their mommas & then drop em when I realize how much they mooch.
  8. So I don’t have to pay for clothing, restaurants, equipment & can get paid to go to the club.
  9. So I can blame everybody else around me when my record doesn’t sell & I can’t book a show.
  10. So that I can be on MTV, BET & VladTV.
  11. So that I can get my own shoe line & possibly make $100 million off of fancy Kool-Aid.
  12. So I can hire T-Wayne for a hot single, have it blow up and then realize they got paid more than I did on my own record.
  13. So I can hire Cory Gunz to ghostwrite for me & Marcus Troy to ghostblog for me.
  14. So I can end up in random facebook pics with people pointing at me or doing the “kiss peace” pose.
  15. So I can complain about how I’m portrayed in the media & then do an even worse job with my own web videos.
  16. So I can rent out a mansion, luxury cars & print stage money for my video, then go home & ask my mom what’s for dinner.
  17. Whooties.
  18. So I can get signed to a label, get paid a retainer to stay on the roster & never have any products released. Just 1 guest spot.
  19. So I can land a movie role without any acting experience & being spoon-fed the audition.
  20. So I can charge upcoming rappers for a recycled verse that I do on all their songs. JR Writer told me it was cool.
  21. So I can impress girls with a shopping spree that’s actually being paid for by the bigger rapper that I signed to.
  22. So I can call myself a smart rapper if I sell & a conscious rapper if I don’t.
  23. So I can lose the few fans I did have by videotaping myself burning a brick of cash ($100,000) during a recession.

This was a freestyled idea that I thought of doing 10 minutes before I posted it; and true to a freestyle, I’m sure there are several things I probably could’ve mentioned but didn’t think of on the spot.

Regardless, it was just for jokes. Nothing more.

Now I have to think of something else to do next.

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