You Can Try, But You Can't Steal A Network

You guys are starting to get familiar with my TwitterRants, where I usually vent about an issue publicly on Twitter. I still have a few bottled up which I may express sooner or later, however, in the meantime, I’d like to share one with you from my homegirl, Fadia Kader.

Fadia Kader logo

During a recent TwitterRant, she offered some cautionary tales, while providing some incredibly useful advice, for those working their way up in the music business (and any business, really).

You’ll notice that these tweets are well over 140 characters. This was done using

#tempted to share some #freeadvice … maybe a TOP 10 list on what not to do when you are on a “COME UP” … here is the TOP 10 LIST list of what not to do if ur trying to get on a come up in any field…especially in my f*cking lane

….There’s an art to appreciating someone else and their accomplishments BUT when it gets to the point where you study their every mvmnt..

#10 Dont Steal someones contacts.

In any form, especially emails. You can get Alex Gidewons email list and Diddys assistants Rolodex… but if you dont work to build that list, you wont be able to ever f*cking work it the way I did and still do and will be doing for a long time.

You cheated.

#9 Dont abuse the contacts you are given:

I worked hard for every contact I have ever acquired?(except the ones I got off the emails that come without a BCC, i snatched those emails… sorry, at least I admit it)…

If you want access to my rolodex that is very extensive (as you clearly know) ,you had 2 options to gain access to it: simply ask me and allow me the opportunity to decide to do one of the following:

1)might charge you a flat rate to blast out something?

2)might blast it out out of love?

3)might give you FULL ACCESS

and in this case I choose 3. For several reasons: cause you had nothing and the other being that I KNOW/KNEW YOU WILL NEVER WORK IT THE WAY I DO.

in the mean time.. dont spam my people and dont act like you just busted your ass to get that list.

please+thank you

#8 Always be aware of “6 degrees of separation.”

I’m sure we all know what that is.?And in this day and age its more like ONE degree of seperation.

With that being said..BE WISE in how you use peoples names and what YOU have done with them,for them and so on. Cause you know damn well you didnt do any of that shit. Those you are trying to get in business with always fact check (more on that in a bit) … so what makes you think if we are in the same field, same lane, that the truth wont come out about what your background is?

#7 How to be an Opportunist properly.

Its human nature, we all thrive for the opportunity to get a pinkie toe in that door.. be a step closer to success , or simply just be able to sit behind the screen door and breath the same air as someone that you admire and their accomplishments on the other side where the grass is greener..

so I understand the nature of the beast and competitive nature of what we do in this lane.. I respect it .. because Im an opportunist in certain situations and I will be the first to say it…


I pass on many opportunities because I know my boundaries. I never bite off more than I can chew..

There is such a stigma to being called a “opportunist” , but to be a “ignorant and under-qualified” opportunist who will just tell the other person seeking your business EXPERTISE anything to lock them in.. is plain FOUL.

Your f*cking with someones progress if you enter the situation with little to no knowledge of how to help that person achieve their dreams.

but I guess thats where your studying ass ways come into play.. 6 Months ago, half the shit you are speaking on was not in your vocabulary or even a possibility. Now your a “marketer”.

Sit Down.

Or go intern with someone ( time with me didn’t count) , go back to school.. or read up and be honest with people about what you are capable of.

#6 Background Check.

Networking with people and possibly “politic’n” and “building” is like applying for a job.

Just cause you came to the table talking all that “im on my shit” talk and how you were apart of “that” concert, how you have access to “that person” and how you can get “that” job done..
reminder asshole: If they were smart people thinking of going into business with anyone.. they will FACT CHECK.

Just cause you leave one scene and go to another scene or move to another town,city,state,country.. trust.. this is the entertainment industry.. we know the same people..

So when someone comes to me to ask me about YOUR CREDENTIALS .. im assuming you want me to lie for you? lol

Nah.. I wont say shit homie. Im gonna let you hang yourself..cause time will come when you have to back the shit you were talking..

And when you fail and they are looking at you sideways.. you know whats the first thing they are gonna think about?

The smirk I had on my face when they ran the “credentials” you ran on them and asked me about you… I CHOOSE NOT TO BE A “HATER” and block your blessing.
but you blocked yours cause you dont have the credentials to get the job done.

#5 Strength + Weakness

If your the person doing all the “soaking of the knowledge” from someone who has proven to be slightly more accomplished than you.. dont take their time and the experience you got for granted.

This one is hard for me, because my judgment is sometimes clouded.

I often see the “potential” in people..?I typically surround myself with “like-minds” and people that can keep up with me.. some wayyyyyy more accomplished than me and possibly will ever be.. some just starting off or were doing it all wrong.. and all I want to do is take them in and make sure they dont make the same mistakes I have made on this road and still make..

I know I know.. let them learn on their own..But if I have true respect and love for you.. I just wont do it at all… I save the “opportunist” and cut throat shit for those I dont respect and whom dont respect me.

Instead, when someone lets you into their world , please sir/madam, wipe your feet off when you make that entrance. Leave the malicious intent and dirty business outside.

We can already tell your hungry..hell we all are.. but thirsty is not the way to go. Cause there will come a time when you have drank out of everyone’s well and its all dried up when it comes to you.

The whole time you look at that person letting you into their world with the intention of GREED caused by your thirst thinking this might be a sign of weakness in the operation..

you got it wrong buddy..

Its their STRENGTH that allowed you in because they have nothing to fear.?They saw your weakness and let you borrow their strength by sharing their experience..saving you the disappointments.
the weakness is not realizing the strength it takes to be able to see the potential of someone who can easily be as great, if not greater than you in your field.. and still take them in..

why? cause they have confidence in how they got where they are.

#4 Be Still.

Well this one goes out to the person/people investing in “that” person that you think might have the potential to just be full of shit.

There are signs you can pick up on.. so many to go thru but I wont..Just be aware, learn to have a memory like an elephant..because the truth is hard but a lie is harder to maintain… and folks like that typically have to use one lie on top of another lie to maintain their story..

Just listen and register.?Watch.?Wait till that moment when they are so comfortable in their lies, because naturally they will start to get lazy and sloppy with their story lines and actions.

I will be honest.. im not the best at this in my personal life.. I’m overly aggressive and a truth-hound and will jump if Im feeling froggy..but I had to learn the hard way.. to make sure that aspect of my life doesn’t trickle into my non-personal world.

The only way a working relationship will work with that person is if you are the same way or are just really oblivious to their acts.

Again. Actions do seriously speak louder than words. Just Listen


#3 Law #10- Avoid the Unhappy and Unlucky

“You can die from someone else’s misery – emotional states are as infectious as disease. You may feel you are helping the drowning man but you are only precipitating your own disaster. The unfortunate sometimes draw misfortune on themselves; they will also draw it on you. Associate with the happy and fortunate instead.”

I tweeted this last week after talking to this one dude who always downplayed my accomplishments..

First thing I thought about was the #10 law..

If you are good at what you do , do it and do it well. Dont doubt yourself. Its human nature to feel a slight jealous stab when you see a colleague doing better than you and you are struggling
but NEVER and I mean never try to down play their hard work and accomplishments..they had to make a ton of sacrifices to get there and just because you dont know what those sacrifices are, doesn’t mean you have the right to try to block their blessings.

Now if that person is the one who’s clearly in misery.. dont try to save someone in business or personal relationships that doesnt want to be saved.?Because they are typically never content until you feel their “so-called” struggles.

#2 Passion

All you can do at the end of the day is Be as passionate as you can possibly be in anything that you do for yourself or someone else.

There are two things that I say all the time so Im gonna take it out of the interview i did with @beecardoza for

1)?”Females:?if they call you emotional, show them how emotional you can get *wink*, cause “SOME” men in the industry CONVENIENTLY get in touch with their feminine side out of nowhere and get emotional at times. Trust, they would never talk to the next man like that. Just smile and let em rant.”

2)?Never apologize for who you are, or being all about YOURSELF and YOURS.. cause trust, the more successful you get , the more your peers will attempt to call you out and say you are being selfish or monopolizing, smile and keep working hard.. CREAM RISES.

Its good to have people who have your back.. but understand that you always have your own FRONT.. cause a dagger through the front is worse than going through the back.

If you have your own can look them in the eye and trust me they will re-consider the damage they were about to do.. not just to you.. but to themselves.

Cause only cowards put on a mask.


I got something tatted on me last year as a daily reminder:

I against I (picture —>

Right there.. when I wake up and look in the mirror its on my shoulder staring right back.

A daily reminder that there are two sides to every story.

The story your mind tells?or?The story that your heart tells

As much as I am my biggest fan, I’m my worst critic. That Its ok for me to be a competitive person, its healthy.. I challenge myself on the daily, but I can also cause my own demise. I play hard and fight harder, but I never fight to draw blood.

My victories doesn’t lie in that persons success or loss, it lies in me.?And if I lost the fight. Its only because I am my worst ENEMY.

When I fail I sometimes blame it on others.. or the situation..or luck.. or a opportunity i deserved more than the next person .. or the fact that maybe I thought of it first, or they did it better than me.. you get the picture………..
but then when the smoke clears and those emotions are gone im left with one thing..

It was always I AGAINST I

I choose the situations that I was/am in. I choose the path, I choose the players, I choose the fights. I choose to cross the finish line or give up.

We all have RIGHTS. but always seem to forget about our responsibilities.

So at then end you have to be responsible for all the actions your brought on to yourself.

Cause you are where you NEED to be in life, not where you WANT to be.


#Conclusion —> Never Run

“Run Run this ain’t no race, more like an endless raggedy chase” -LB

I was never running in your rat race.

*Make sure to follow Fadia on Twitter.

I felt like sharing this with you because not only does Fadia offer some great insight, but also because all of us – and I do mean ALL of us – have encountered these kinds of people and situations. A few personal experiences happen to come to mind.

How do you deal with snakes? Are there any tips you’d like to offer others on how to manage dealing with these kinds of situations?

11 thoughts on “You Can Try, But You Can't Steal A Network

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  3. Lisa

    Love the post!

    When I discover a snake in my circle, I address them face-to-face and tell them exactly how I feel about what’s going on. If they are trying to stab me in the back, I let them know I’m willing to fight back and will not sit quietly if they cross me.

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  6. Ashley

    I hate that. People can be so shady!! they ask you for help then once they think they learned enough they try to pull a fast one on you.these kinds of frauds will always lose! good riddance & thanks to fadia for these awesome pointers!!

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    I really needed to read this today.

    Experienced EVERYTHING noted in this article recently, and it rocked my world….real talk.

    Working so hard, for so long to build good business relationships, only to have a leech/hater come in and systematically try to sabotage your network….and your good name.

    Had my thought processes go very ‘un-Christlike’ for awhile there!

    So it has made my day to see IN PRINT that my thoughts & feelings on these kinds of persons are ON POINT.

    Thanks again.

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